This one is for my over achievers, my artists, and people who want to be a positive thinker but don’t know how – and those who aren’t sure if seeing the better side of things will change your situations!
Hopefully this description matches you: you have solid friends, your relationship with your family leans to the healthy side, and you’re proud of your work. Nothing’s missing, nothing’s wrong.
But for some reason, when people pass you on the street, you find yourself wishing you could be like them. “Gosh, what I’d do if I had that person’s confidence.”
It’s like they figured out the secret that no one else knows. And you’ve done your research – the mindset coaches are no stranger to you. You’ve followed their advice and seen some results, but there’s still a gap you know you could bridge if you just had the right information.
Answers Ahead!
Well, I’m happy to tell you that you’ve come to the right place. I found the answer 3 years ago, and it’s not scouring your memory for every traumatic event you’ve ever experienced.
In fact, it’s the simplest and most repeated mantra on the planet: choosing to be a positive thinker. The key for lasting change is consistency. You’ll feel change in just a few weeks. Keep it up for 3 months and you’ll become a different person!
Get the workbook with the full exercise plus the 90 day challenge here!
My Therapy Story
In the fall during the pandemic, I made the decision to be nicer to myself. My self-help deep dive had already started, learning all of my important numbers and letters. I felt a greater understanding of myself, and observing the way I interacted with people gave me clear sight I hadn’t experienced before.
But while I enjoyed the feeling, I noticed that I engaged in a lot of negative self-talk. Negative self-talk is that conversation you have with yourself that feel less than kind. Anything from “I’m so stupid” to “This is not my best work.”
Think of it this way – if your parents or sibling said it to you, loudly, at a family gathering, would you take offense? Cousins and aunties, uncles and grandparents watching with wide eyes? If your answer is yes, it’s negative self-talk.
Don’t Worry – You’re Fine
Now, this kind of internal conversation is normal. Most of us aren’t used to kind words, or if we are, they come with an aftertaste of envy or judgment. In my case, the words were just plain mean. So my therapist gave me some homework: during the two weeks in between appointments, I was to keep a small notebook on hand and keep track of each time I thought something negative about myself.
I wasn’t sure what was considered normal, and I was sure I had a healthy relationship with myself, so I just went for it. During our next appointment I gave her my number: anywhere from 65 to 90 thoughts a day.
Have you ever heard your therapist gasp?
…Yeah.
The most important relationship we have is the one with ourselves. It’s a reflection of what we experience with the world, and it influences all of our interactions with it. She was concerned about the sheer volume (and rightfully so because I was sure I’d missed a thought here and there), so we jumped into turning me into a positive thinker.
Here’s How to Do the Positivity Reset
Here’s the neuroscience behind this exercise. Our brain creates pathways based on emotions. The stronger the emotion, the stronger the pathway.
This is how traumatic memories take hold. When the emotion is triggered, a signal runs into the brain and heart that reignites that old memory, and depending on its severity, can do anything from activate a lightly dysregulated nervous system to trigger flashbacks.
But neuroscientists have figured out the opposite side of the coin: being a positive thinker is 3 to 100 times stronger than being a negative one! And positive thinking naturally yields positive accompanying emotions. Even casual positivity – like that feeling you get after a good night of sleep and wake up to chirping birds – can replace the deepest traumas with repetition.
So here was her homework:
Every time you catch yourself having a negative thought, replace it with:
- Positive thoughts about yourself
- Positive thoughts about people and the world in general
- Positive thoughts about your future – all surrounding the topic you had the negative thought about
Along with that, write 9 general good-feeling affirmations about those same topics and repeat them morning, noon, and night.
If it sounds like a bit much, you are absolutely right. A good therapist is like a college professor. You’ll hate the amount of work they assign, but if you do it, it works. And I promise, being a bit too positive is far better than being a bit too negative!
The Results
Warning – they are dramatic.
I was deeply depressed and couldn’t envision my future before this exercise.
By the end of the first month, I had read Rich Dad, Poor Dad, decided to start a business, and committed to moving abroad the next year.
In other words, the seed for Amour Abroad was planted.
Physical Results
I was also fighting the 25 pounds I had gained during the lockdown. 3 months into the Positivity Reset I went from casually trying to lose weight to committing one hundred percent! On top of that I’d been dealing with cystic acne. By December it cleared up!
This was just what happened in the first 90 days. Over the next year, my life changed so dramatically for the better that old relationships and habits didn’t fit anymore. Happy became my baseline, and the beautiful spirit inside me began to show her face.
And of course, becoming a positive thinker seeps into everything! I wasn’t just thinking kindly about myself after a while – I was thinking kindly about everyone.
Final Thoughts
Everyone is unique! My results will be different from yours. Yours could also come faster or slower depending on where you are mentally. What is certain is that you will feel the results of this exercise before you see them as long as you are consistent!
It’s just like working out or studying. Keep it up each day and your change will come!
Get Started Now!
Write down some positive affirmations about whatever subjects were on your mind while reading. Then follow the instructions!
I guarantee, your attitude about your life will skyrocket before the end of the seven days. And if you keep it up for 30 days, you will unlock a version of yourself that is unrecognizable.
You can do it! I love you!
Buy the Positivity Reset journal on Etsy for the full exercise with instructions, examples, and the 90 day challenge!
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