You know I’ve come to genuinely love my sadness? I know that sounds a little counterproductive, but I found that the more I cried, the easier it was to feel happy again. And not just about what was going on in my life at that time.
Feeling my feelings over what happened today helped me let go of things that happened years ago. Emotional expression just makes things better in general. Everything seems smaller. You get perspective.
The more I let my sadness do her thing, the more I unlocked the power behind her. It built up an unshakeable strength within me over time, so I thought I’d share the process with you all here.
The purest energy of life: love, joy, peace, patience and goodness come to us in our lowest moments. Right when you find yourself wondering what’s the point, you get to decide the point. That’s freedom. That’s power.
Follow these steps every time you start to feel sad. Whether you’re disappointed about something not working out or suffering from depression, these basic self-care actions will make you feel happy again. And the more you do them, the greater your joy for everyday life will become, until one day the things that used to make you cry become funny stories to tell over dinner.
How to Feel Happy Again
Take a Shower
Showers are the ultimate key to healing. Christians often say that Jesus is the living water, and that the devil flees to dry places. Have you noticed that when you’re at your lowest, the hardest thing to do is to wash your body?
This basic thing is what keeps us moving forward.
When you’re unhappy but you choose to maintain your routine, you activate the same neural pathways that are on when you get ready for a night out with friends, when you come home from a great work out, or simply at the end of a normal, productive day. We want this part of your brain to always be on because the reasons people have for living – family, connection, service – are always attached to it.
Incorporate your lower emotional state with your regular hygiene routine and you’ll find that simple memories of smiles overpower your sadness in no time! In other words, shower shower shower. No pressure to make it fancy.
Do Some Nail Care
My mom used to say “Act like somebody loves you,” when I got ready for the day as a little girl. I didn’t know what she meant then, but I know now.
Little things get overlooked when we’re sad. Emails go unanswered, dishes pile up, and worst of all, nails grow out. One of the best ways to hijack that I’m-special-and-I-deserve-good-treatment mode is to simply whip out your nail filer and polish remover. Shape, clip, cut your cuticles – whatever you would do if you had a nice dinner planned.
It’s a simple act of beautification that will have you feeling in control of your appearance. You’ll feel happier instantly, and you confidence will go up just like that!
Fix Your Hair
To the natural girls rocking their post-wash twists: I’m talking to you. Even on my best days, the surest thing to ruin my mood was having to take an hour and a half to do my hair. Worse – styling my hair the night before, only for my braid-out to be frizzy the next morning.
And if I’d already spent the past two days crying? Jesus. Prepare for two more.
Do your hair, do your hair, do your hair. It doesn’t have to be an extravagant style. In fact, it’s best if you follow a tried and true method that always feels picture-ready. Sadness, grief, depression, aimlessness – they thrive when the to-do list piles up. Beyond tapping into our regular-mood nervous system settings, we want to reduce the feeling of having a million things to do.
Full beach curl with gems or a simple wash-and-go, fix your hair.
Go Outside
Go on, you can do it! It doesn’t have to be far; just a lap around your block is fine, or a quick trip to the store down the road. Buy yourself a snack or get something you need.
Vitamin D from the sun is absolutely vital for regulating your mood. It reduces depressive symptoms, boosts your serotonin, and reduces stress levels. That plus any physical exercise will lift your heart, and buying yourself things you like will help you feel like your taken care of, even if no one else is around! And honestly, you are taken care of: being outside will remind you that in spite of what’s wrong, your legs still work, your senses are functioning, and you have money in the bank.
Sadness sucks, but the Universe is still providing what you need. So take your time – enjoy the nice weather, talk to a neighbor. Take life in, and remember that everything is going to be okay.
Meditate
Let’s get metaphysical.
All of these steps will help you adjust to your new circumstances mentally – whether you’ve lost a loved one, left an old job or underwent another big life change. But meditation will take your entire life to the next level.
You see, sadness has a way of keeping us stuck. Even when we continue to take care of ourselves and move on, feelings linger, and you can find yourself in a brand new situation expecting the same old. We meditate to take a step back. We meditate to observe our mind, to understand how we perceive situations. And when we do that, we advance.
Unconditional love for yourself is built with each decision to sit with your body. Well here’s a spoiler: the more you practice loving yourself unconditionally, the more people and experiences that love you unconditionally come in. In a year or two – maybe less if you’re truly in your spiritual bag – you’ll be in environments that cause you happiness only. And you’ll have enough perspective to receive it for what it is instead of reliving the past!
Be Creative
Gosh, look at you. Your skin is glowing, hair and nails are prim and proper, your body is strong and healthy, and I can feel the peace radiating from you! I’m so proud.
Now, what are we to do with all of those left over emotions?
I want you to get as free with your mind as you can. You don’t have to be good at the creative action you choose, and absolutely anything goes. You can sing, dance, draw; whatever feels interesting to you in the moment. I’ll tell you a secret: I started writing raps. Never tried it once in my life, but when the inspiration struck I went with it.
Channel all those feelings into any art form (or every art form). You’ll be surprised by the amazing things you create, and once it’s all down on paper or woodworked into a new chair, you can make your final peace with your emotions and let them go.
Finish Your Chores
Here’s the final step! To clarify, you can do these steps in any order. I like creating in an orderly home and finishing the day with small productivity, which is why I save this step for last. But it’s up to you: whatever floats your boat! All you have to do is finish your chores!
Wash your clothes, wipe down your counters, capture your stinky puppy for his bath. Knock off whatever’s on your to-do-list, especially if you can finish it in 5 minutes or less. You know that feeling of accomplishment you have when you finally light those candles and take a step back on a good day?
Its impact is 1,000 fold after a week of tears.
Final Thoughts
Thanks for reading! I know the things we talked about in this post might feel pretty obvious, but it’s important to say because we often think that the answer to depression, grief or general sadness is something hidden. Some believe there’s a specific exercise they need to learn from their therapist; others think their answer lies in medication.
The truth is that the greatest tool we have for feeling happy is simply taking care of ourselves.
Because when you cap off a particularly sad day with self care, creation and productivity, you unlock a part of your character you’ve never known. That part of you can weather storms with grace, feel the deepest depths of your emotions, and still come back to take care of business!
They’re unconquerable, indomitable, and full of bliss in the everyday. They never falter, and never fail. Follow these steps and that’s who you’ll be in time (though I’m pretty sure you’re already 75% of the way there).
Give this routine a try and tell me how you feel in the comments! I love you!
Purchase one (or all) of the Fruit of the Spirit Journals to add some powerful positivity to your routine on the Amazon Bookstore!
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