It’s so normal, don’t even worry about it. We all get a little sad some times. I remember the days when I all I did was lay in bed, snack and cry. What job? What blog? I didn’t want to do anything, and convincing myself to get up was so hard.

Over time I learned that it’s a good thing to be sad – the parts that suck make the good that much better. However, I personally don’t like crying very much. The tears make my head hurt! So I started taking little steps aimed at helping me allow joy every day. After a few days I felt the effects, and after three months I was moving on.

So without further ado, here are the self-care steps I take!


1. Take a shower

First things first, the moving energy of water plus the action of cleaning your body will shift your brain towards ‘everything’s okay and I’ll be fine’ mode. In your sadness, you’re consciously activating the same pathways that are on fire when you’re excitedly getting ready for a night out, when you come home from a great work out, or simply at the end of the normal day. This will incorporate your lower emotional state with your elevated feelings, and since elevated emotions are much stronger in the brain than negative ones, you’ll find yourself back to normal in no time! Shower shower shower – no pressure to make it fancy. 


2. Do some nail care

If you need a fill but heading to the salon feels like too much, check your cuticles! They might have grown out a little and could be pushed back, or your dead skin could be removed. If you don’t do acrylics or press-ons, cut and file your nails! It’s best to do it right after your shower when your nails are still soft. Do whatever you have the energy for – I do hands one day and toes the other. Trust me, this very simple act of beautification will help you feel in control of your appearance, and your confidence will boost instantly!


3. Do your hair

This is vital, especially for my natural girls that are rocking the post-wash twists. Nothing is worse for me personally than wanting to get nice and then remembering that I have to take an hour and a half to do my hair, especially if I’ve already spent two days crying. Whether it’s a full beach curl with gems or a simple wash-and-go, do your hair. This will take quite a bit of that weight off your shoulders. 


4. Go outside

You don’t have to go far! Just a lap around your block is fine, or a quick trip to the store down the road. Buy yourself a snack or get something you need that you’ve been putting off. Any physical exercise is good for lifting your mood, and buying yourself things you like will cause you to feel taken care of, no other person necessary! Take your time, too – enjoy the weather, talk to a neighbor. You’re going to be okay. Life goes on. 


5. Meditate

Are we ready to get metaphysical? The sooner you’re able to sit quietly with the feeling in your body, the sooner you can let it go. The heart creates memories by taking all of your circumstances and putting them together – the call that hurt your spirit, the place where it happened, and everything you’ve done since then – to settle into your vibration. The key to allowing healing or love or peace is making creating neutral and positive memories when you can. Go somewhere nice, sit with yourself, enjoy the quiet. In this way you can teach your brain and heart that life is life. This makes it easier to move on and bring in better experiences. 


6. Be creative 

Anything goes: sing, dance, draw. I even started writing raps. Whatever feels right, whatever feels expressive, do it! Feelings are best channeled into creative pursuits, and you might shock yourself with what you create!

7. Do your chores

Last but not least, clean up! Wash your clothes, wipe down your counters, capture your stinky puppy for his bath. There’s nothing like being productive after a day of doing what you love to help you feel the control you have over your life. 


Following this simple list brought me from heartbreak to power! I started the year off crying and wishing I could just forget it all – now I’m putting the gas on my business and celebrating a new promotion! When people ask how I did it, this is my answer!

Setting basic, attainable goals each day will boost your confidence in yourself and your ability to create the life you desire. You’ll notice that as you feel better, things get better, and in time you’ll understand why things happened the way they did. 

Tell me how you’re feeling after following this routine! Love y’all 🩷