Introduction (00:00)
Hi. I’m Kayla Wilder, and you’re listening to Love, Faith & the Miles in Between. This podcast is about the amazing ways that God shapes us and the exciting moments on the journey. If your heart is ready for renewal and discovery, this space is for you.
Welcome
Hi, hello and welcome in. Today I wanted to talk about something really close to my heart: what it means to start over, which I am so excited about because this is the very first episode of my brand new podcast.
Welcome, and thank you for being here. This is a pretty cool way of doing things. If you visit Amour Abroad often, you know that we have just been a blog for the past couple of years, and we’ve only just recently expanded into our magazine. So I’m used to… I’m really used to like just typing things out, you know, print media. Old, old fashioned, old school. But, uh… a podcast? It was always in the plan, but I didn’t think I’d do it until very much later. So this is this is nice. This is nice.
And I’m so grateful to you for coming in and choosing to listen, whether you’re in your car, on your way to work, or if you’re just hanging out around the house, uh, wherever you’re at, whatever you’re doing. Thank you so much for joining me and I am excited to begin this journey with you.
So this episode is called Faith, Femininity, and Starting Over. And I want it to encourage you if God has called you to travel. Starting over in a new place can be challenging, so I wanted to shine a little light on the beauty that God creates in you through the experience, and, you know, just help uplift your heart in case, uh, you are considering, you know, this pretty big life change and you wanted to know what goes into it. So yeah, let’s get started.
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God’s Call to Start Over (2:00)
First, my story was that I was trying to go down one career path, but, uh, my heart had always been with traveling. It was something I’d wanted to do forever. And, uh, at that time, it seemed like everybody around me was getting to travel and go to new countries and, and have all these experiences. And I was kind of looking around and I was like, God, like… can I go too? And He answered me and He said, “Yes, yes, you too.” And I was like, “Oh my goodness, thank you!”
So, um, the next thing I knew, I was applying to schools and in the blink of an eye, I was on my way to Spain. And so, um, my shift when it came to travel was not just for fun and not just for like rest or rejuvenation, but it was an entire life shift. And so a lot of things came into it. Uh, which happens with everybody. But in this particular case, um, there were some things that the Lord wanted me to focus on and I didn’t really, uh, I didn’t really, I didn’t really understand it while I was going through it.
But looking back, I’m so grateful for the experience because He changed me into the person that I always knew that I could be. But He did it in a way that like, blew my mind and made me feel so seen and so loved and so, um, cared for. And so, uh. Yeah, let’s shine some light on that.
So the biggest things for me were first, just starting over in general as a person. You know, when you’re going abroad, it’s, it’s definitely, it’s definitely a nerve wracking because you’re basically like dropping yourself in the middle of a foreign country. And even if it’s a country that, you know, you’ve wanted to visit your whole life and you’ve learned everything about the culture and you know the language and all of these things, even when you’re that kind of person actually like stepping off the plane and being surrounded by people who grew up living a completely different life and doing it by a different set of rules is, uh, it’s— it takes a while to get your bearings. It takes a moment. But the beauty of how much time passes is that you get to find yourself in the process.
So that was… that was, I think the biggest worry was that I would get— I would get to this new country and my entire identity would switch up and I wouldn’t know. I wouldn’t know who I was. Or worse, that I would like come home and be one of those, one of those people who… you know how they like— We go abroad, we go abroad, and then we come back and every single word out of our mouths is just like, “Oh, like they don’t do things like this in Spain, or this is how they do it in France.” Or like just always doing the comparison and, and, and everything is like, “Oh, it’s better over there and I miss it over there.” I didn’t want to come back as that kind of person. I, I was terrified, I thought I’d be so annoying.
But glory to God that’s, that wasn’t the case. That wasn’t the case.
Um, God He doesn’t… unless I think um, I think unless you like purposefully, like really want to talk about it and need to force it in every conversation. I think for the most part, He keeps you keeps you pretty um…. normal I want to say. So you don’t like you don’t, um, you don’t really lose yourself in, in in in the wonder of traveling. So that’s nice.
Um, but the second thing is the stress of being, you know, if you’re like me, an ocean away from your family. 8, 8 hours in between you and the closest person. And, uh, you know, you have to build a new support system. I mean, you have to figure out how to how to do things on your own.
And that’s, that’s the genius of God. That’s where He comes in. He’s really good at, uh, taking away all the things that you think you need, and then just settling you in a spot where you have to rely on Him. And He makes your life so much easier and things become so much more clear. And He’s so amazing for that. It’s, it’s the fact that no matter who you are or where you go, the person that God needs you to become in His eyes is worth you taking all of the time and all of the energy to get to know, like, there’s no skipping steps, there’s no… oh, there might be, there might be a little bit because He can change hearts in a moment, right?
But usually there’s no moment where, you know, you just things just click and you decide that you’re going to be a new person. There’s a process to getting there. And so, um, living abroad is you walking out that faith every day. Uh, which brings me to my next point: faith. And then after this, I’ll talk about femininity.
Faith (8:02)
So, uh, when it came to faith, I think the biggest thing that, um, I had to trust was that I was going to the right place. Uh, originally I wanted to go to Italy, but I ended up going to Spain. And so there’s that reality that like you, you might, you don’t know if you’re gonna get the same opportunity later on down the road, or you don’t know if money’s going to work out the way that you hope or you don’t know, like how you don’t know what plans God has for you.
And so there’s a, there’s a, there’s a lot of pressure when it comes to choosing where you’re going to go, especially if you’re somebody who’s planning on going abroad for education or for work. Uh, but to that point, um, I think that in all of the confusion about like how I saw myself versus where I ended up being and, um, everything that went into that time frame… God’s hand is on it.
He has, He has a particular place that He wants you to go to, and He wants you there for a reason. So when you when you get there, everything just melts away and you get to have like the utmost gratitude because you realize that it honestly doesn’t matter where you go as long as it’s not home. It’s perfect. Imagine like you went, you planned on going to one place, and you ended up in a place that seems completely opposite. That’s that’s for His purposes. He has a plan there. And so trusting Him and and relying on Him through that process for me was, was a really big eye opener. And everything worked out.
Femininity (10:08)
Which brings me to my third point: Femininity. It’s… a… challenge, um, to move to another country, especially if you’re, you’re, you’re the first person in your community or in your family to do so. It and it takes, it takes, uh, it takes God’s patience. It takes God’s patience. And when it comes to femininity and, uh, how you, how you exist and trust, um, I learned… I learned a lot. I learned a lot about myself.
So before I got to Spain, I was very much a go-getter, um, if it needs to be done, I’m gonna do it kind of girl. Uh, I wouldn’t say that I, like, worked myself to the bone necessarily, but if there was something that needed to be done, I was gonna find a way to do it. And just having things checked off of my to do list, that was what made me feel like I was actually getting somewhere in life. And so I get over here to Spain, where they have what they call “the mañana culture,” where everything is “Why do it today when you could do it tomorrow?” Everybody relaxes. Everybody is kind of just, uh, moving slowly and going with the flow.
And for me that that was a tough adjustment. But it played into my faith because I’d been telling God that I, I didn’t want to be a person who was super stressed over everything all the time. And He kind of used the culture of Spain and Barcelona to, uh, fix everything in like one, one swoop.
So I have a short story. There is, um, there’s this thing that you have to get, uh, when you’re in Spain, a, a Spanish bank account in order to rent an apartment over there. And what we were learning, what the administrators at my school were telling us was that it’s kind of hard to get a bank account. And so the students shouldn’t, uh, worry too much if it takes some time to to rent out an apartment.
And so for me, I was doing my thing where I was like, “I don’t know how I’m gonna do it, but it’s gonna get done.” And so I ended up going to a bank website and I clicked on whatever said like “Create an account.” And the next thing I knew I had, I had an account made, right? But I found out that it wasn’t the correct kind. So I couldn’t figure out how to fix it online. And so I decided to go there to the bank in person, which was fine because it was just around the corner from where I was staying at.
And so I go in there, I let them know what’s going on, and the lady at the desk is like, okay, like explain it to me. And I’m explaining it to her and she brings over the only other— there’s like three people working in the bank at this time, and she brings over the only other person in there, and he comes over and she explains the situation to him and they’re like, ooh. Okay, we’re gonna have to fix this. And I was like, I felt so embarrassed. I was like, “Oh, I’m so sorry.”
I felt I felt very much like, like, like, like the typical American, like student. Like I just clicked on whatever and it just, you know, it just ended up doing what it did. And I didn’t give it a second thought. And I felt so bad because I thought it was like making people’s lives harder. But these people were so kind. They were like, you know what? This is going to take us a second. Why don’t you head home? We’ll figure it out. And when we have it fixed, we will give you a call. I’m like, God bless you wonderful people.
They called me, what a day? Two days later? I don’t remember now, but they called me a few days later and they had indeed fixed it, and that was that. And so I learned that… it felt like in that moment, it felt like God was bringing me into a new situation, a new era of my life where the kind of striving forward and trying to do things on my own was no longer going to be helpful. But also, even if I did mess up— because I hadn’t yet learned how to like, just rest and leave things in His hands, there.
I was, I was still, I was still like, “Oh, God, like, let me, let me do something” right? So I felt like in that moment, He was showing me how much He He was showing me that even if I did… do too much? He would arrange the situation so that I had help in getting out of it or undoing basically the the mess that I created. And that was, I think the, the biggest, the biggest lesson.
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And I think that it’s so important because, um, in our society, definitely, especially if you’re, if you’re American and you’re listening to this, I think that it’s, it’s really difficult for us to develop, um, groups and systems that support us resting, that support us taking our time. I think it, it takes a lot to go out and find those people and bring them together. And it’s even harder to keep those groups intact. And so when we lean back and trust in God to create those communities for ourselves, it makes everything so much easier. We get to go through the process of trial and error with Him.
And then once we finally get to where He wants us to go, you, you, you, you arrive there as a person who can receive the fullness of His help and, and not fight against it, not fight against your blessings. And I think that I think that is the… I think that is one of the best gifts that He gives us, is that He picks and chooses who is going to be a part of our lives.
So in conclusion, looking back on everything now, I’m so grateful that it all happened the way that it did. And today I can say that I trust God so much more. I— it’s just so hard for me to worry about things now that almost like I don’t want to say that my drive is gone, but like, I, I really do have to plan out and schedule out my day and create a list of things and pray over it and submit it into God’s hands in order for me to get it done. Because otherwise I’m just going to lounge about and be like, it’ll He’ll handle it when it’s time for it to be handled. He’ll drop something in my spirit and I’ll get it done.
Um, so it’s, it’s, it’s a much, it’s a much simpler, it’s a much simpler life that I, that I live now and I think it’s nice like you, you get to enjoy your daily life a lot more when you’re not worried about all the things that you could be doing, you start, um, sitting in the beauty of all the things that you are doing, which might not be much.
You might just be, I don’t know, hanging out with your family or playing with your dog. And just that, that little bit of love right there is, is everything that you need and take some time out of your day and you praise Him and spend time with Him. And, you know, 7 p.m. rolls around and you’re like, gosh, that was that was a great day. Everything’s all right.
Scripture (19:09)
Um, it reminds me of Isaiah 43:19: “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”
Heart Talk (19:19)
And yeah, that’s that’s the beauty of starting over. It can be a little messy or it could be a little scary. But God has a plan for you. And if you trust Him, you’ll receive clarity and new direction, even if it’s in the middle of chaos. So if you are planning on going abroad, whether you’re just traveling for fun or if it’s a longer term stay, maybe you’re going for education or work. Um, I would only say to go with God and uh, be, be 100% excited about it as go as go as well. Maybe not go crazy, but you know what I mean? Like have like all of the enthusiasm in it that, that you want to have.
He’s got such a beautiful journey planned for you. There are secrets that He’s placed in your heart that you can only know if you follow the path that He’s set for you. And even if you’re going for professional reasons, even if you’re going because you’ve got, you know, a plan, a plan over your life and some things that you want to accomplish, the thing that He’s doing inside of you is just as important. And when you sit with it, when you give it time and attention, when you nurture it and let it grow, you will be shocked.
You’ll be shocked at all of the things that He does for you and all of the ways that that He molds you. And, and that is, that is a beautiful treasure. Okay.
Reflection (21:18)
And then I just have one more thing that I want to say before we close out, because that was my last point. And it’s that I wanted to do a reflection question.
So if you’re listening to this on the website or on Substack, you can respond in the comments or if you feel that the Holy Spirit is encouraging you to share your testimony, you can send an email to info@amourabroad.com. That’s amourabroad.com.
Uh, however you want to share, uh, please, please, please share. We we love to, we love to hear your testimonies. We love to hear your stories. They, they, they make our day better and they show us how, how we’re touching God’s people. It’s, it’s why we do what we do. I said we, but it’s really it’s just me.
Um, so here’s the reflection question. “What would you do if you weren’t afraid to start over?”
And that’s all.
Prayer (22:40)
Thank you so much for listening in on the first episode, and why don’t we go ahead and close out with a prayer?
God, thank You for new beginnings. Thank You that nothing is wasted— not the worry, not the detours, not even the shaky first steps. Give us courage to start, grace to keep going, and eyes to see Your beauty even when the map doesn’t make sense.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Outro (23:13)
Thank you for joining me on this episode of Love, Faith & the Miles in Between. If you enjoyed today’s topic, please share it with a friend. Remember to subscribe to the newsletter for more travel, faith and love stories.
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