It feels so good to fit into a small. The TikToks are absolutely right: I take any chance I can to feel how little my waist has become. Sliding through tight spaces, fitting between crowds of people? Anything that looks like something I would have avoided 4 years ago, I walk straight through now. I feel so hot.

What’s even better is the way I came around to getting this size. The process was so natural that I know I’ll never gain it back! I remember when I first committed to it back in December of 2020. I was graduating from college, Freshman 15 and COVID 25 piled on me like bricks. There was one evening, just a few nights before I was taking my photos where I decided to learn a little dance. I felt good about how my body felt in the movements, so I recorded myself back. It was the first time I’d realized how much I gained. 

It was a bit shocking – like, I didn’t feel so heavy when I went about my daily activities, and I certainly didn’t have a problem with what I saw in the mirror. But as I watched I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. When did I let myself go? How did I not notice it before?

I’d grown up skinny – skinny enough to be bullied for it. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. So I made myself a promise that night: I would wear my mom’s waist trainer in my grad photos, and that would be the first and only time I’d ever squeeze into something to change my body. From that day I would lose all the weight and have a body I was truly proud of, no editing required. 

My goal was to be 135 pounds. I think I was about 165 then (I’m 5’5), so 30 pounds seemed like the correct and achievable number. 

I had a physical last month. 137 baby.

The craziest thing was that throughout all the tried and failed attempts, what changed the most was the intensity of my workouts. In the Army I did physical training every week, from 5am to 7am, Tuesday through Thursday, for 4 and a half years. It was tough – imagine all manner of burpees and wall throws, HIIT circuits, 3 mile runs, and 12 mile road marches that blistered my feet. But for all the difficulty, it wasn’t until I began preparing to move to Barcelona that I actually saw progress.

In 2021 I ate a little less, making sure to really pay attention to how full my stomach felt, only eating when I felt hungry. And I walked a lot more. In Spain my school was only 7 minutes away on foot, so I made sure to walk to everything I could on top of that. I still basically lived on chips and cookies, but when I ate I made sure to put them in bowls and leave the bags in the kitchen. When I tell you the fat was sliding off of me? Half the reason I was poor was because I had to keep replacing my clothes.

Now it’s more of the same, but I’ve added dancing to the mix. Actually, the dancing has had a bigger impact than I can put into words. Like, I’ll have to get some distance from it before I’ll be able to truly feel the difference, you know? In August I started learning k-pop dances (mostly New Jeans, but I sprinkled other groups in from time to time). I created this habit where every time I started to feel even a tiny bit sad, I’d dance. Just my hands and arms at first, move my head and swing my hair, and then I’d get up and move, and finally I’d be in my backyard or in the street dancing full-out.

In a blink my cheeks disappeared, my waist was gone, and my arms lost all of their jiggle. I ordered a small sized shirt for the first time in 10 years, and it fit! Pride is not the word.

So, I’m celebrating my new found skinniness by staring at myself in every mirror I walk past. And when summer comes? Phew 🥴 Follow me on Insta.

Thanks for reading! Tell me about your weight loss journey in the comments!