Will I find happiness in Spain?

This was the question I asked myself throughout 2021.

I had an epiphany during the lockdown: my last semester of college was beginning, but I didn’t want to pursue a career in medicine.

When I asked myself what I did want, the answer always sounded something like “Live in peace, be happy, and travel.” So my next few months were full of research and applications, and in the following spring I got the call that I had been accepted into my MBA program in Barcelona.

I learned during that time how travel was soul-filling work for me. Learning languages and experiencing new cultures felt like I was doing what I was meant to do. It uplifted my outlook on life and filled me with new love.

But I realized that as fun as it was, travel came with challenges. Living in a foreign country doesn’t guarantee your happiness. At the end of the day… you have to choose it.

Read on to learn how you can choose your happiness too!

During my search for a graduate school, I came across a young man on YouTube describing his life in Tokyo.

He was asked on the street about his experience, whether he thought young Americans would be happier in Japan. This was his response: “Wherever you go, there you are.”

The way he saw things, each of us carries ourselves wherever we go. Our thoughts, beliefs, and habits pack their bags right alongside us, so when we get to the new place, if we’re not aware, we’re prone to creating the same experience we’re used to.

Put simply, we’re only happy when we travel if we choose to be.

Before moving, I realized I had a habit of going along with what the people around me wanted to do. My friends would drop suggestions in the group chat, and I would enthusiastically agree, excited to spend time with them. What we were doing was always of little importance. As long as there was someone to do something with, I didn’t feel like my opinion was all that important.

Through the magic of therapy, I learned that my needs and desires did matter, so when I left for Barcelona, I promised myself that I would do all the things I wanted to do, even if it meant doing them alone.

How was my follow-through? Eh.

The first week was amazing; it was basically solo traveling. I went on bike tours around the city, attended Afro/Latin fusion dance classes, you name it. I was having a blast. But as classes begun and friend groups formed, I fell almost immediately back into old habits.

In the blink of an eye, I found myself again in places I didn’t like, spending my weeks worrying about work that didn’t fulfill me, and watching the events I was interested in pass me by. By Christmas Break I wasn’t even sure if I was enjoying my time abroad.

New Year’s filled me with revelation as I read through my old journals. One evening a pattern made itself clear: I had been talking about the same thing for a long time. The pages were filled with years of confessions about following others and not putting myself first.

What a shock it is to realize you’re in your own way.

So things came down to one decision: would I live for approval, or live for me?

I chose myself.

Since then, the way I spend my time has been very different. One of the best parts has been learning that going out, exploring, and even eating by myself is a lot more fun than simply going along with the crowd.

And the result? As spring turned to summer, I was more enthusiastic about life in Barcelona, more present in each moment, and I had begun to trust myself more than I ever had!

Have you also recreated less-than-ideal experiences in your life? If you have, don’t worry! Developing new habits can be a lot easier than it seems, especially when you practice being kind to yourself if things don’t go as planned.

The best thing is to take a look at the big picture of your life. Ask yourself these questions and write your thoughts down:

1. Am I happy right now?
2. Why or why not?
3. What do I enjoy about my current life?
4. How do I contribute to experiencing the things I enjoy?
5. What do I not enjoy about my current life?
6. How do I contribute to experiencing the things I don’t enjoy?

By answering each one, you will start to recognize the habits and thoughts that create the highs and lows of your life. And once you know, you can easily decide which ones to continue, and which ones to replace!

Of course not!

Often, we don’t even know we need to make a change until we find ourselves in new environments. And change is challenging; it takes time.

My personal recommendation: don’t put life on hold while you try to figure out who you want to be. Rather, curate your new life around it.

Traveling is a beautiful experience all on its own, and if you think you want to move somewhere new, go for it! You’re sure to make new friends and memories to carry with you for the rest of your life.

Remember, when it comes to your happiness, you have the final say!

For the mental exercise that kept me happy through this experience, buy the Positivity Journal on Etsy!