Will I find happiness in Spain?

This was the single question I asked myself throughout 2021.

I had an epiphany during the COVID lockdown: my last semester of college was beginning, but I didn’t want to pursue a career in medicine.

When I asked myself what I did want, the answer always sounded something like “Live in peace, be happy, and travel.” A bit idealistic, perhaps generic… but it felt like the truth. So my next few months were full of research and applications, and in the Spring of 2021 I got a call that I had been accepted into an MBA program in Barcelona.

But what I found during my time in school was that travel operates as soul-filling work for me – learning languages and experiencing cultures felt like I was doing what I’m meant to do. It helped, immensely, but it wasn’t the deciding factor to my happiness.

I was.

At the beginning of my search for a graduate school, I came across a young man on YouTube describing his life in Tokyo.

He was asked on the street about his experience, whether he thought young Americans would be happier in Japan. And his response was profound. “Wherever you go, there you are.”

The way he saw things, each of us carries ourselves wherever we go. Our thoughts, beliefs, and habits pack their bags right alongside us, so when we get to the new place, if we’re not aware, we are prone to recreating the same experience we’re used to.

Put simply, I would only be happier in Spain if I chose to be.

Before moving, I realized I had a habit of going along with what the people around me wanted to do. My friends would drop suggestions in the group chat, and I would enthusiastically agree, excited to be able to spend time with them. What we were doing was always of little importance to me. As long as there was someone to do something with, I didn’t feel like my opinion was all that important.

Through the magic of therapy, I learned that my needs and desires did matter, so when I left for Barcelona, I promised myself that I would do all the things I wanted to do, even if it meant doing them alone.

How was my follow-through? Eh.

The first week was amazing; it was basically solo traveling. I went on bike tours around the city, attended Afro/Latin fusion dance classes, you name it. I was having a blast. But as classes begun and friend groups formed, I fell, almost immediately, back into old habits.

In the blink of an eye, I found myself again in places I didn’t like, spending my weeks worrying about work that didn’t fulfill me, and watching the events I was interested in pass me by. By Christmas Break I wasn’t even sure if I was enjoying my time abroad.

New Year’s brought revelations as I read through my old journals stashed at my mom’s house. One evening a pattern made itself clear to me: I had been lamenting about the same thing for a long time. The pages were filled with years’ worth of confessions about following others and putting everyone but myself first.

You wouldn’t believe how shocked I was to realize I was in my own way.

My youth had been so very filled with worrying about being liked that I had never taken the time to be my own friend. So things came down to a single decision: live for approval, or live for me. I chose myself.

Since then, the way I spend my time has been very different. One of the best parts has been learning that going out, exploring, and even eating by myself is a lot more fun than simply going with the flow.

And the result? As spring turned to summer, I noticed I was more enthusiastic about life in Barcelona, more present in each moment, and I had begun to trust myself – far more than I ever had.

Have you also accidentally recreated less-than-ideal experiences in your life? If you have, don’t worry! Developing new habits can be a lot easier than it seems, especially when you practice being kind to yourself if things don’t go as planned.

The best thing I know to recommend is taking a look at the big picture in your life. Ask yourself these questions and write your thoughts down:

1. Am I happy right now?
2. Why or why not?
3. What do I enjoy about my current life?
4. How do I contribute to experiencing the things I enjoy?
5. What do I not enjoy about my current life?
6. How do I contribute to experiencing the things I don’t enjoy?

By answering each one, you will start to recognize the thoughts and habits that create the highs and lows of your life. And once you know, you can easily decide which ones to continue, and which ones to replace!

Of course not!

Often, we don’t even know we need to make a change until we find ourselves in new environments. And change is challenging; it takes time.

My personal recommendation: don’t put life on hold while you try to figure out who you want to be. Rather, if you can, curate your new life around it.

Traveling is a beautiful experience all on its own, and if you think you might want to try living in a new place, go for it! You’re sure to make new friends and new memories to carry with you for the rest of your life.

Just remember, when it comes to your happiness, you have the final say.

Are you thinking about visiting Europe? Check out our posts to learn more about Santorini and Barcelona Carnival!